The Essential Questions Men Should Ask Before and During the IVF Process

The journey through in vitro fertilization (IVF) is often complex, emotional, and filled with uncertainty—especially for men who may feel sidelined in the process. But just as women need to be informed and proactive, men also play a critical role in ensuring a smooth and successful IVF experience. Asking the right questions can help you gain clarity, reduce stress, and be the best possible partner throughout the process.

Here are some crucial questions men should ask before and during IVF:

Questions for the Fertility Specialist

1. What are the causes of our infertility?

Infertility is not just a female issue—male factor infertility accounts for about 40-50% of cases (American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM)). Understanding the specific reasons behind your fertility challenges can help determine the best course of treatment.

2. What tests should I undergo as part of the IVF process?

A semen analysis is a standard test, but in some cases, additional testing like a sperm DNA fragmentation test may be necessary (Mayo Clinic). Asking about what tests are needed will ensure you provide the best possible sample.

3. What lifestyle changes can improve my fertility?

Factors such as smoking, alcohol consumption, stress, and diet can affect sperm quality. Asking your doctor about lifestyle improvements—like diet changes, supplements, or stress management—can improve your chances of success (Harvard Medical School).

4. How does my age affect IVF success?

While male fertility declines more gradually than female fertility, studies show that men over 40 have lower sperm motility and increased DNA fragmentation, which can impact embryo quality (National Institutes of Health (NIH)). Understanding the role age plays can help you plan accordingly.

Questions for Your IVF Clinic

5. What are our IVF success rates based on our situation?

Success rates vary based on clinic expertise, your partner’s age, your sperm quality, and other medical factors. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) tracks IVF success rates for different clinics (CDC IVF Success Rates). Make sure to ask about the clinic’s track record with cases similar to yours.

6. How many embryos should we transfer?

Some clinics recommend transferring multiple embryos to increase success rates, but this also raises the risk of multiple births. The ASRM advises that single-embryo transfers may be best for younger patients or those with high-quality embryos. Discuss the pros and cons with your doctor.

7. What are the financial costs, and what does insurance cover?

IVF is expensive, with a single cycle costing anywhere from $12,000 to $25,000 (Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART)). Ask about financing options, payment plans, and what aspects—medications, embryo storage, genetic testing—are covered by insurance.

8. What happens to extra embryos?

If you have viable embryos left after a successful cycle, you’ll need to decide whether to freeze them for future use, donate them, or discard them. Understanding clinic policies and storage fees is essential.

Questions for Your Partner

9. How can I best support you emotionally during IVF?

The IVF process is physically and emotionally draining, particularly for your partner. Ask how you can be most supportive—whether it’s attending every appointment, handling daily responsibilities, or simply listening without trying to “fix” things.

10. What role do we each want to play in decision-making?

IVF involves many decisions—from choosing a clinic to selecting an embryo transfer plan. Clarify early on how you both want to approach these choices together.

11. How do we manage stress and maintain intimacy?

IVF can strain even the strongest relationships. Plan strategies for keeping your bond strong, whether through date nights, counseling, or simply carving out time to relax and reconnect.

Final Thoughts

Asking these questions can help you approach IVF with confidence, clarity, and teamwork. While the journey may feel overwhelming at times, being informed and proactive will empower you to navigate the process successfully.

For more insights and support, visit The IVF Playbook for Men, where we share real experiences, expert advice, and a community for dads-to-be navigating IVF.

Sources: