5 Ways to Support Your Partner During IVF

Going through IVF is a journey—one filled with excitement, anxiety, hope, and sometimes, disappointment. As men, we often want to "fix" things, but in the world of fertility treatments, there are no quick fixes. What you can do, however, is show up as the best partner possible.

Research shows that partners play a critical role in providing emotional support during fertility treatments, and their involvement can significantly reduce stress and anxiety levels for both individuals (Martins et al., 2014).

Here are five ways to support your partner during IVF that will make a real difference.

1. Be Emotionally Present

IVF is physically and emotionally draining for both of you, but your partner is bearing the brunt of the medical side—daily hormone injections, bloodwork, ultrasounds, and sometimes, painful procedures. The best thing you can do? Listen.

Let her vent without trying to solve everything.
Validate her feelings, whether it's frustration, fear, or sadness.
Remind her that you’re in this together, no matter what.

A study published in Human Reproduction found that emotional support from a partner reduces feelings of distress and improves overall coping mechanisms in women undergoing IVF (Greil et al., 2011).

2. Educate Yourself on the IVF Process

Don't just rely on your partner to tell you what’s happening. Take the initiative to learn about the IVF process.

Read up on how hormone injections work.
Understand the timeline of each IVF cycle.
Ask questions at doctor’s appointments.

A study in Fertility and Sterility found that partners who are actively engaged in understanding IVF help reduce their spouse’s anxiety and make them feel less isolated during treatment (Boivin & Gameiro, 2015). The more informed you are, the more engaged and supportive you can be.

3. Help with the Daily Logistics

IVF comes with a ton of moving parts—doctor’s visits, medication schedules, and injection timing. You can ease your partner’s burden by:

Setting reminders for medication schedules.
Driving her to appointments.
Handling insurance calls or paperwork.

Research indicates that practical support, such as helping with medical tasks and administrative logistics, contributes to a smoother IVF experience and reduces psychological distress (Purewal et al., 2018).

4. Take Care of Her (and Yourself!)

During IVF, your partner may not be feeling her best—physically or emotionally. Small gestures can go a long way:

Prepare her favorite meal.
Encourage rest and relaxation.
Plan a distraction—a movie night, a weekend getaway, or even a simple walk together.

At the same time, don’t neglect yourself. IVF is a lot for both of you. Studies show that male partners experience significant emotional distress during IVF, often feeling pressure to remain strong for their partner while struggling with their own emotions (Hammarberg et al., 2010). Talking to a friend, exercising, or finding your own outlet for stress can benefit both of you.

5. Be Her Biggest Cheerleader—No Matter the Outcome

The hardest part of IVF is the uncertainty. No matter how much you plan, the outcome is never guaranteed. That’s why your role as her partner is so crucial.

Reassure her that she is not alone in this.
Celebrate the small wins (each milestone in the process is worth acknowledging).
If things don’t go as hoped, remind her that your love and partnership are not dependent on the outcome.

A 2020 study published in BMC Women's Health found that partners who actively communicate and provide emotional reassurance help improve relationship satisfaction and lower anxiety levels in women undergoing fertility treatments (Schmidt et al., 2020).

Final Thoughts

Being an IVF partner isn’t just about showing up at appointments—it’s about showing up in every way. If you take the time to be present, informed, helpful, and emotionally supportive, you’ll be giving your partner exactly what she needs: a rock-solid teammate.

How have you supported your partner during IVF? Share your experiences in the comments or in the IVF Playbook for Dads Facebook group!

References

Boivin, J., & Gameiro, S. (2015). Fertility and Sterility, 103(6), 1410-1415.
Greil, A. L., McQuillan, J., & Slauson-Blevins, K. (2011). Human Reproduction, 26(11), 2978-2987.
Hammarberg, K., Astbury, J., & Baker, H. (2010). Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology, 31(1), 42-49.
Martins, M. V., Peterson, B. D., Almeida, V. M., & Costa, M. E. (2014). Human Reproduction, 29(1), 123-135.
Purewal, S., Chapman, S., & van den Akker, O. (2018). Journal of Reproductive and Infant Psychology, 36(3), 219-237.
Schmidt, L., Tjørnhøj-Thomsen, T., Boivin, J., & Andersen, A. N. (2020). BMC Women’s Health, 20(1), 11.